And like all other opening days, the initial meeting to kick off the new season takes f’en forever. My league secretary, Check, is as always, accommodating to a fault. People like Fat Jerry have too many useless objections and views that have no value to the league, much less, to the huge collective band of HK ingrates that bowl in this league. F*ck them! And f*ck you too, you fat piece of horse manure!

At 9:45 p.m., we finally get our team numbers and league assignments. I send Super to pick our lucky team number (11). And to my chagrin, we draw the Koi Palace waiter, Mini Fred Flintstone, and Chubby Kenneth (the only one I like in the three).

To make matters worst, on the lane next to us is some short fool who was so loud and obnoxious with his 130 avg that I had to collect myself from kicking the fat turd out of his sorry, wannabe ass.

Matchup…

Super – 142 avg
Judge – 183 avg
Puba – 189 avg

Vs

Harry “Flintstone� – 181 avg
Kenneth “Chubby� – 171 avg
Jin “Koi Palace Waiter� – 200 avg

Handicap: 34 pins for us.

Game 1

Judge and the Puba are on fire. Flintstone and Koi Palace are also on fire as they bowl a matching pair of 204s. Judge unloads a 201. The Puba brings the f’en house down with a 221. Super struggles with a 138 and barely manages to top Chubby’s 120.

We win 594 – 528.

Game 1 conversation…

T: What’s your goal this season Judge?
J: 190 avg.
T: 190 avg? That’s it?
J: Well, gotta take baby steps.
T: F*ck baby steps!

Post game conversation…

T: Super, we escaped. I know their #2 (Chubby) bowler is not going to bowl crappy all night. We need more from you!
S: (shakes his head)

Game 2

My words of “encouragement� to the Super prove worthless as he is all over the place with his throws. From a 138, he succumbs to a 126. The entire time, Judge and I are distressed as we watch his ugly release and snarl at all the things he is doing wrong. This, ultimately, leads to our demise as we start losing focus of all own games. Judge drops to a 172. The Puba plummets to a 181.

Flintstone also drops to a 178. Chubby, as to be expected, improves to a 154. But the backbreaker is the Koi Palace waiter’s 233, as they beat us 565 – 513.

Game 3

Our margin for victory is low, especially with the Super, who was not having it tonight, and the Judge, who upside potential is minimal. Still, we held a small overall lead.

However, that lead disappeared faster than a PPQ crab leg in Dave’s vicinity.

Chubby unloaded strike after strike for a 235 game. Flintstone was steady going with a 187. Koi Palace took his foot off the accelerator with a 163 game.

Super, as to be expected, bowls his best game (180). Judge holds steady with a 184. The Puba, plagued by 4 baby splits, plummets further with a 146.

We lose the game 585 – 544.

We start off the 2008/2009 Winter Season of the CBC: 1-3.

Give me your lunch money!

Super: +1 (444 series)
Judge: Even
Da Cheeze: +2 (+15 pins handicap)
Tylon’s Bro: Scared to bet against the Puba (to be expected)

Total: +3

This season, I will keep a running total of how much “lunch money� I win along with the total amount of pins I give.

Season Totals:

Super: +1
Da Cheeze: +2/45 total pins
Judge: 0
Tylon’s Bro: 0

In case anyone was wondering, we finish at 11:30 p.m. And of course, I’m feeling the effects the next day.

I finally got the opportunity to bowl at the National Bowling Arena in Reno. Needless to say, with the Rib Festival taking place during the same weekend, Reno was, apparently, the place to be.

Friday Morning

After working feverishly to organize and run my first NFL pool and make it the baddest NFL pool ever, I was momentarily stymied when my phone died on me all of a sudden at 10 a.m. It was the last day to join my pool, and people were trying to get a hold of me left and right but to no avail as my HTC Touch was “touchless� as the touch screen malfunctioned.

Friday Afternoon

I hop on the internet and find the nearest Sprint Repair Center to my work and decide to make it a lunch excursion as I knew they would take some time to find out what the issue is with my broke-ass phone.

After dropping off the phone at the Sprint store and told to “come back in a half hour,� I visited my usual mall dining attraction, “Sorabol.�

Upon my return, I was given my phone back and was told that it was broken and asked if I had insurance. Immediately, I said, “No, but what can you do for me?� And the following conversation ensued:

Sprint Rep: Well, we can send it in for a refurbished one for $120.
T: You got to be f’en kidding me.
SR: As a courtesy, we’ll be willing to do it for $120. The phone costs $300.
T: First of all, you’re not offering me any courtesy as a “new� phone costs $300. A refurbish phone, much less a new one that breaks in 8 months, that will costs me $120 is a joke.
SR: Well, as a courtesy, I can do $55.
T: Is this a negotiation? Cause if it is, how about “free of charge?�
SR: Sorry sir, I can do that.
T: Get me on the phone with corporate.
SR (Hands me a phone): Here you go sir, I’ve dialed it already.
T: Thank you.
Customer Rep: Hi, how can I help you?
T: I just bought a phone 8 months ago from you guys and now it is broken. What can you do for me?
CR: Sorry to hear that sir. Let me look up your account. (pause) Sir, I can give you $45 off another phone.
T: $45!? You’re telling me that I spent $300 on a phone and all you can give me is $45 off another phone?
CR: Yes sir, that is our policy.
T: Well, what if the phone I want is the Instinct?
CR: That phone retails for $449. So it would cost you roughly $400.
T: You got to be kidding me. This is unacceptable. Can I speak to your supervisor?
CR: Sure.
(pause)
Supervisor: Hi sir, I reviewed your account. Sorry to hear about your phone, but do you have insurance?
T: No.
S: I’m sorry to hear that. But since you’ve been a valued customer, I can give you $99 off a new phone.
T: But the phone I want cost $449.
S: Well, since you don’t have insurance, that is all I can do for you.
T: Then you can cancel my contract.
S: But sir, it will cost you $200 to cancel your contract.
T: Yeah, so? I rather pay $200 to cancel my service with this sh*tty carrier than to fork out $400 for a new phone and still get the same customer service that I’m getting. For $400, I can cancel my contract and buy a new iPhone!
S: Bur sir, what if I gave you $150 towards a new phone.
T: Are you guys in the business of selling people 2 year contracts and phones that only work for 8 months?
S: No sir, but …
T: But nothin’, that’s what I’m feeling right now about your company.
S: But you don’t have insurance?
T: There goes that word again. No, I don’t have insurance. I do not believe I need to have insurance because I didn’t lose my phone, I didn’t drop my phone, and I didn’t get it wet. It is sitting on the table right here in front of one of your associates without a single blemish on it! The phone that was sold to me just doesn’t work!
S: Well sir, there is a 1 year manufacturer’s warranty on it and you would qualify.
T: What? Send it overseas? What am I going to use in the meantime? Are you going to give me a loaner phone?
S: Well, no sir.
T: Well, then it does me no good, does it, to send my phone overseas, wait for it to get repaired, and then wait for it to get sent back to me? Enough of this, cancel my contract.
S: Wait sir, I’m going to have a retention specialist call you.
T: Okay.
S: Okay, he will call you in 20 minutes. Wait for his call.
T: Uh, you want my number?
S: Oh, we have it.
T: You have my work number?
S: Oh, no.
T: Then how are you going to call me? My mobile phone is broken remember?
S: Oh (embarrassed laugh)! Yes, please give me your work number.

So, I return to work. And sure enough, in half an hour, my phone rings. Rather than shoot more crap across the phone to another rep, I let my voicemail answer. I find that people tend to get to the point when they’re forced to leave a message.

Retention Specialist: Sir, I heard about your situation, and we can only offer you $150 off another phone or $55 to get a refurbish model. Please call me back at…

Knowing this was not going to go anywhere, I did not bother to return his message. Instead, I went back to FoneArt to speak to Daniel, the guy who sold me the phone.

Daniel, as can be expected, could not do anything for me. However, he defended Sprint and his company in a method that rubbed me the wrong way. As such, I chastised him to a point that he would not enjoy the impending 3 day weekend no matter how great he was hoping it will be.

Next, I went to the Sprint Repair Center at Serramonte. They’ve helped me before on my phone issues, and I figured, they would be the only ones that could help me.

After going through the initial, “give my tech 20 minutes to see what is wrong with the phone,� they instantly whipped out a new phone and offered it to me as a replacement.

Service Rep: As a courtesy, we will replace your phone just once even though you don’t have insurance.
T: Thank you.
SR: I really recommend that you get insurance.
T: How much is insurance?
SR: $4-$7.
T: So you want me to spend anywhere from $100 to $170 across two years, and pay a $50 deductible if I were to need a phone replacement?
SR (realizing how ludicrous that sounds): Well sir, yes.
T: I’ll take my chances that this phone will last me the 14 months left in my contract.
SR (hands me phone): So, do you want insurance?
T: No. Thank you.

After a long hiatus from blogging, I have returned...

So, I'll break down what's been going on in all facets of my life.

New House

Been spending every waking minute working on unpacking, shopping for furniture, and decorating rooms. Still it bugs me why I can't get my speakers to work. Guess I'll have to leave it to one of the pros (Francis, my cousin Albert, etc) to help me figure that out.

Did I mention, the house is zapping all the money in my wallet?

Bowling

Sweepers week came and went as quickly as an untouched alcoholic beverage in Savage's vicinity. Didn't win, don't know who won, don't care...

Next Saturday, the Super, Judge, DeWayne, and the Puba head up to Reno to bowl at the National Bowling Arena. Francis might join us for some debauchery and ribs (Ribs Festival) during the evening hours. Here's hoping the Puba doesn't pull a Munsen at bowling's grandest stage!

Softball

The reins have been passed off to Randall. While I have disagreed with how Randall is running the team lately (much in part because my mind has changed as to how or whether we should develop some of the newer players), I will admit that Randall is taking the job and running with it with dedication and thoughtfulness.

Last week, we were pummelled 18-2. Nothing went right. That's fine. It happens. However, where Randall and my strategy differ revolves around our most talented newest player, John. Whereas Randall wants to see if he can pitch (in an emergency in case I'm not around), I would of liked to see us apply that strategy when the outcome of the game is no longer in doubt (i.e. if we getting blown out, or if we have the game in control).

Also, John is not the one I would groom as a pitcher, much less emergency pitcher. He plays a solid infield, and with time, can develop into a solid outfielder (my choice as to where John should play and grow).

We got whooped in 50 minutes. What it comes down to in my years of managing is that our team really isn't that good. The reasons for what little success we had last season lie in large part because of my good offensive year and pitching philosophy. You see, give the Cannons time on defense and they will find a way to stink it up. Their focus and concentration drifts and mental lapses occur. As a result, I tend to speed up the delivery so that they are always on their toes. And even if a mistake or error happens from time to time, they don't have time to sulk.

John, while he has demonstrated that he can throw strikes, has not developed that repetoire in his pitching and his game (to be able to take control or take over a game).

Next up is Adam. I hope he, and we, fare better this Saturday.

The house remodel/move has wiped me out... Add an extremely busy work month, the Puba is running on fumes. But excuses mean nothing, cause they're worth nothing.

Week 9 of 10

With our team officially out of the hunt for the playoffs, we tried to come out to finish off the season respectably.

Of course, this week we face, of all people, the Bush Baby and her brother, Lumpy, and her cousin, Ryan. And of all things, the Bush Baby took away what little respect we had in our sorry asses. Not to mention, we have to give 20 pins in handicap.

Game 1

IM conversation before the season starts:

Lumpy: Hey, you want to bowl with us (him and Ryan)?
Puba: I thought Ali was going to bowl with you?
Lumpy: Well, I bowl better with you...
Puba (thinking to himself): I've never bowled with his ass...
Lumpy (catching himself): Oh... I mean I bowl better against you...
Puba (thinking to himself): Of course you ass, I the f'en man you love to hate!

I'll spare everyone the details... the above conversation held true. The three of them outbowled the three of us (DeWayne, Puba, Dahkness).

Plague by splits, the Puba and Dahkness were an f'en embarrassment to the sport.

We get whooped by 90 pins.

Game 2

Two does not make you a winner...

Story of our season. Always two people that seem to bowl well, and one that drags the team down.

This game, DeWayne and the Puba light up the lanes as DeWayne bowls a 177 and the Puba unloads a 201. Dahkness can't overcome his love for banana "splits" as he musters along for a 156.

Frame 1
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 2
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 3
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 4
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 5
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 6
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 7
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 8
Puba: Damn it Judge, are you going to give me anything tonite?

Frame 9
Puba: F*ck... I'm not even going to bother...

Frame 10
Puba:

Ryan explodes for a 257. Lumpy follows with a 203. Bush Baby improves to a 169.

We get whooped by 115 pins.

Game 3

Any salvation was finally put to rest as the Bush Baby thunders for a 203.

The Puba shuts it down early, knowing that victory was unattainable, and finishes with a 186. Dahkness strikes the 10th out for a 193... enough to beat the Puba.

Sometimes, the Puba thinks that all Dahkness is focused to do is beat the Puba instead of their opponents.

Puba: Judge, never when it counts.
Judge:

We get whooped by 78 pins.

Postgame conversation in the car:

Bush Baby: Dang, I bowled the same as you (512)!
Puba: Yes Bush Baby, you destroy us!
Bush Baby:
Puba: I just don't have it this season. Some weeks I'm devastating, other weeks, I just don't feel it.
Bush Baby: Maybe you're just tired.
Puba: Well, I know I'm tired. But at the same time, I just don't feel good.
Bush Baby:
Puba: Well, it is sweepers week next week. Gotta pull out all the stops! There's money to be won!

Week 8 of 10 at the CBC...

This week, we faced Super H (The Huis).

Jamie "Nui Nui" - avg 119
Joyce "Momma" - avg 133
Vincent "Dada" - avg 174

vs

Super - 142 avg (DeWayne was unavailable due to his paw hurting)
Puba - 181 avg
Dahkness - 181 avg

This week, we gave 70 pins.

Game 1 - F*ck, Not Again!

We were in trouble from the start as Nui Nui unloads a 152 on us. Our only hope was that Momma would fail which was minimal as she still maintained a 125. Father closed it off with a 170.

Super showed initial signs of greatness... well, I exaggerate, "goodness" is more like it. But funny thing is... he shuts down the last 4 frames and has to settle for a 131. The Puba still struggles with his delivery, but as he mentioned last week, he has figured out what he was doing wrong (gripping the ball too hard and long thus release point is off). Still, the Puba cannot get it going as his output is still below average (171). Dahkness reverts to his old self with a 179 and like usual, he unloads three straight strikes in the 10th frame when it counts for nothing.

We lose by 36 pins.

Puba: Damn, we still haven't won a game with you Super...
Super (hoping to divert the blame back to the Puba for his struggles): Well, if you can start bowling above 150, we have a chance.
Puba: I bowled a 171, that's above 150. (Puba does simple arithmetic: 171+36 = 207, what the Puba needs to bowl cause his teammates can't seem to do it...)

Game 2 - I Say When Enough Is Enough!

How much longer will the Puba continue letting this ship sink?

Super again shows signs of life, but collapses at the end with a final score of 137. I need to get on him on learning to finish a game. Sh*t, not only him, but also Dahkness as he sloths for a 167.

The Puba's frustration finally sets in (after 7 straight mediocre/poor games). 222. Enough said.

We win by 5 pins as the Puba gives Dahkness a 6 pin lead in the 10th frame... and fortunately, Dahkness is able to fend off Dada.

Puba: Holy sh*t, we finally won a game with you Super!
Dahkness:
Super:
Puba: We're now 1-10 with you!

Game 3 - Super Repays Me for All My Hard Work...

Dahkness, like always, follows someone else's lead and thunders for a 207. The Puba won't let Dahkness try to steal his renewed thunder as he continues the devastation with a 213.

All of this would of been enough, even to withstand Dada's 229, Momma's 139, and Nui Nui's 135. All Super has to do was break a 150, well, a 153 to exact. Of course, the Super fails as he connects for strikes (turkey) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th frames, and opens all the remaining frames.

We lose by 20 pins.

This week, we're 1-3. Our record, 15-17.

Dahkness: Damn, Super, strike or nuthin'!
Super:
Puba:

Give me your lunch money! (Money, I took from others this week):

Super: $2
Judge: $2
Sidepot: $10
Total: $14

Oh well... tournament in a month and the Cannons are 1-0! Gotta look at the positives...