Let me share and vent to the world why my extended family sucks.

MY MOM'S OLDER BROTHER

First, a little background about them. One family (my mom's older brother, my uncle) emigrated from Vietnam in the early 94, I believe. Off the bat, my mom used to tell me how strict he was and how he would punished her when she didn't do good in school.

So, I figure this guy is a man who wants the best for his family. That is, until I actually met the guy.

To make a long story short, there was a family dinner. My uncle and his family had just arrived to the country and my other cousins from Texas were visiting and serving as the welcoming committee. Conversation was about coming to the U.S. and not knowing the languarge and trying to survive. A lot of things were said, but not even half way into the conversation, my uncle started lambasting my mom about how stupid she was for not pursuing an education, and instead, chose to find work. My mom tried to brush it off and say that she didn't want to accept welfare and that she had to work hard to have what we have now. Well, the mutha f*cka could of left it at that, but still, he called my mom an idiot and essentially, "a sh*t for brains" in front of the family.

It kept going for 5 f'en minutes until enough was enough. The rest of the family was quiet and did not want to disrespect him because he was the so-called "elder" in the family.

That was when I had stepped in. I was only 16 at the time, but I knew right from wrong.

I stood up at the table and the following conversation ensued(verbatim):

T (near explosion): Listen you ungrateful piece of sh*t. Maybe your sister should of collected welfare and got an education instead of going to work. But at that time, she made the decision she thought would be best for her family. So why don't you apologize to her asshole!

My Uncle: Do you know who you're talking to? You're speaking to an "elder." No respect and no manners.

T (about to detonate): Mutha f*cka, let me tell you something about this new country you're in. If you got nothing of value to say, learn to shut the f*ck up!

My Uncle's wife: Sit down Tommy! You don't have the right to talk!

T (BOOM!): That's it! F*ck you! (as I proceeded to educate the both of them in American sign language.) If it wasn't for my mom, you f'en wouldn't be here! (Then I stopped and gathered myself). F*ck this! I'm gonna kick your f'en ungrateful ass (start lunging at him with both fists clenched)!

My father and my godfather then restrained me as the restaurant fell silent. Both of them brought me outside to cool my jets. In the end, I was reassured that I was right for defending my mom!

MY MOM'S OLDER SISTER

My aunt came to the U.S. back in 1999, or was it 2000. I don't recall. Anyways, she came with her husband and her three children (two boys and one girl).

Her husband, I have learned, is a lazy SOB who came to the U.S. with the impression that he could sit around and reap the benefits of his children's laurels.

The older son, my favorite, is a hardworking kid who is extremely humble and gratious. Needless to say, he married a beautiful wife and have two beautiful kids. Most recently, he purchased his first home.

The other son is pompous hot-shot who is more interested in "get rich quick" schemes than working hard. Needless to say, he chose to not go to school. Instead, he goes back to Vietnam flaunting his U.S. bucks. His most recent outrageous tomfoolery: Planning to get married to a girl he met while on a trip back to Vietnam after 19 days. It was going to happen, until the girl and her family were exposed for what they truly were, gold-digging users. Fortunately for her the wedding fell through, cause my cousin doesn't have much gold.

The youngest daughter looks a little slow. She went to school for a few months but dropped out, vying instead to stay at home and watch her Asian soap operas. When my mom told her that it is important to learn English and that she has a great opportunity as she has no responsibilities at the moment, she simply said, "It was not in the cards." My mom simply told me, "She is one lazy ass girl."

My aunt is diabetic. My mom's main concern for bringing her over was to give my aunt better access to American treatment. Needless to say, my aunt is doing much better, but I have little respect for her as well, as she has never pressed her children and her lazy ass husband to be diligent.

My godfather has been very generous in letting them live in the unit above his laundromat. They, lazy as they are, have been camped there for all this time.

Most recently, a conversation took place in which my mom's older brother (the uncle I was about to punch out), told my aunt's lazy ass husband (aka LAZY ASS), that since their older son recently bought a house, it is time for them to move out of my godfather's unit. The LAZY ASS took it the wrong way (probably because he is an uneducated a-hole who was too lazy to go to school) and thought my godfather was pushing to have him move out. So, being the "man" that he is, he told my godfather to confront him and not "go around" by telling my uncle that he wants him out.

My godfather, who is totally oblivious to all this, had no clue what was going on. He was doing him a favor, and in return, he was getting chastised by the person he was trying to help. Obviously this angered him.

When I heard about this today from my dad, I could not help but feel ashamed and angered by the fact that both of these guys, my uncle and the LAZY ASS, share one common flaw. Both lack the humility and gratitude towards those who have gone out of their way to help them.

I knew this a long time ago. I knew this when these dumbass morons stepped foot into this country and said, "The U.S. is nothing to be excited about. We have the same thing at home."

Well, I have the same response I had then that I have now, "If that is the case, then go the f*ck home. No one wants your sorry, lazy, ungrateful ass here anyways!"

These are some one-liners I've heard that I'd wish I would use from time to time:

1. A friend askes me why I don't root for the Giants since I live in San Francisco...

"Root for the Giants? That's like rooting for a donkey in a horse race..."

2. Best way to describe a show-off, know-it-all...

"That guy's mouth can't stay open for two seconds without stupid coming of it..."

More to come...

You ever come across people that offer to help you, but when you accept their offer for help, you find that the following happens:

1. They come back and give you all these stipulations and questions;

2. They make you do all this additional legwork that you might as well do it on your own;

3. They don't provide the level of effort that you would expect leaving you to only count on one person: yourself;

4. They make it seem they're jumping through hurdles and walking on fire for what is actually really little;

5. They whip out an encyclopedia of excuses for why they can't do it suddenly?

Makes me wonder sometimes...

As a person that would go out his way to help others (and I don't recall ever going half-ass), I find it really insulting and rather lame.

Keep your offers to yourself. Spare me the headache and the heartache of having to wonder if I am to receive your benefits when it is convenient for you or when you're in "the right mood."

Perhaps the Super put it best. That my little getaway to Seattle was the "recharging" I needed to regain my form. Or perhaps it was getting a new bowling ball. Or maybe it has been the extra cardio training I've been doing to get ready for the Kaiser 5K.

Whatever the case, it has translated to a refreshed and more powerful me!

Last night in the CBC, I came with one mission in mind: Build on our .500 record and end the night with a winning record.

Last night, we face Mimi (153 avg), her husband David Leung (the real David with a 170 avg), and Cheryl (158 avg). We gave 12 points in handicap.

Game 1 (Easy, Breezy, Fo' Sheezy)

Mimi was off to a super slow start as she was plagued with 4 splits in her first 5 frames, resulting in a 122. David was also off to a slow start as he only mustered a 151. Cheryl disappointed as well with a 142.

Easy going as Judgie carries us with a 213 (182 avg). The Puba cannot hit a strike if his life depended on it, but effectively spares his way to a 172 (169 avg). The Super, on the other hand, is worried about our new betting game and opens on 6 frames, resulting in a 120 (144 avg). Still we win rather easily, 505-427.

Steve: Wow, spare machine!
Puba: Yeah, sorta sux. I'm going to get tired really quickly if I keep on throwing two balls each time.

Game 2 (A Little Luck For Once?)

Mimi redeems herself with a solid 161. Cheryl bowls her 158 avg. But David unloads a 204.

Super finally figures that this scale can get really expensive if he doesn't start bowling. He whips a 195 out of his ass. The "spare machine" keeps rolling with a 171. Judgie slows it down with a 175.

Critical moment: Super is working off a turkey into the 10th frame, when he opens, giving Judgie a 3 point lead to go up against Cheryl's spare. After the Puba and the Judgie express their disgust, the following conversation ensues:

P: Damn it! Judge, I'm going to need you to strike out for us to win this thing.
J:

Super returns in disgust. His 195 game shaded with the fact that he couldn't close out the victory for us.

Judgie heads up to bowl but only musters an 8. We're +11. Cheryl goes up to bowl. Long and behold, she gets a 7-split! We were -3. The pressure was placed back on the Judge to convert and win the game for us.

P: Holy sh*t! We can do this Judge! Make this sh*t!
J: (smoothly converts the spare)
P: Yes!

We win 541 - 535.

Game 3 (Our Second Trial)

After six frames, Mimi, David, and Cheryl shared only 2 opens.

P: They only opened twice after 6. We're now being tested.
S & J:
P: Now's our time to keep this going, we haven't opened yet! We've converted 18 straight! Keep it going and we'll actually win and sweep all 4 for once!
S & J:

And sweep we did as we persevered for a 562 - 504 victory.

We're now at 8-4 and should be in the upper tier in terms of 2nd half team records.

After the game, I was so elated and proud of what we (especially the Judgie and Super) have accomplished. This was one night that they seized the moment and performed admirably.

The 2nd half is just beginning, and there will be even tighter moments than this. But for this week, we were a finely-tuned, well-oiled machine!

First the commercials for the movie, then...

Yesterday morning at the gym, I saw a guy with a Notorious B.I.G. t-shirt that had the year he was born and the year he died imprinted.

My first reaction was laughter as the guy didn't look like someone who looked like he knew Biggie, but simply a wannabe, hard-up, possibly a fan who bought a $5, unofficial, counterfeit shirt from the dollar store.

This morning, I hear a rap by Notorious B.I.G. in the morning on the radio. Nothing out of the ordinary, but usually, I'm tuning to sports talk in the morning. It's just today, I wanted to hear some music on my drive to work.

Then, I logon at work and check out Yahoo!'s movie page. Notorious is obviously on there since it is opening this week. So, I proceed to check out the movie stills and read some of the comments.

Best and funniest comment there was, "Say Biggie Small(s) three times in a mirror and Biggie will show up."

I don't know why, but I just kept laughing when I read that. Just my twisted and sick sense of humor.

It's tough...

That's all I can muster these days as my bowling team stinks it up week after week. Most of that falls on my shoulder as I've been struggling as of late. My reason of course being that my equipment (bowling ball) is old and worn and I'm too cheap to buy a new one.

Anyways, this week, I implemented a new betting game for my team. Usually, we play for a "gentleman's dollar," but this half, I wanted the stakes to be a little higher. Purely as motivation.

To adjust for our different skill level, Judge and I played on one scale and Super had his own scale.

Judge and Tommy's scale:

Open frame = -$1
Spares = +.25 cents
Strike = +.50 cents
2nd Strike (in a row) = +$1
3rd Strike and on (in a row) = +2

Super's scale:

Open frame = -$1
Spares = +.50 cents
Strike = +.50 cents
2nd Strike (in a row) = +$1
3rd Strike and on (in a row) = +2

The results were:

SUPER

Game 1: XO/OO/X/X/X = +$1
Game 2: O/OOOX/O// = -$2.50
Game 3: /OO/OOOX/O = -$4
Total = -$5.50 to the Pot

JUDGE

Game 1: XX////X//X/ = +$4.25
Game 2: X/OX///OXX/ = +$1.75
Game 3: /XXXXXXOO/X = +$8.50
Total = +$14.50 from the Pot

PUBA

Game 1: OOOX/O/O//X = -$3
Game 2: XX///OOO/O = -$1.50
Game 3: /XOOXXOX/X/ = +$.75
Total = -$3.75 to the Pot

Final calculation/payouts/payments at the end of the season.

As you can see, Judgie put on a show last night when the $$$ were concerned, while the Super and should of crawled back into our a**es instead of showing up.

Puba (to Steve Ting): I need a new f'en ball. My piece of sh*t is all worn out.
ST:
Puba: And I'm too cheap to get a new one!
ST: Well, there's your reason right there.
Puba:
ST: Tell you what, I have a ball for you. You just need to have Lindsey drill it for you.
Puba: Kewl! Thanks!

This week, we're 1-3. We won the first game against the Nintendo Boy and his cohorts, Susan and Kraker.

Apparently, Humphrey, Bush Baby, and Da Cheeze fare much better, as they went 3-1.